Stuck in Lies
by shihosu
Summary: Stuck in an unhappy marriage, Kaoru seeks a counsellor for help. Slowly...she falls in love with her counsellor, only to find out he's her sister in law's husband! In a world of deceit, lies and betrayal, no one can ever be with the one they truly love...


**Disclaimer: **(For all chapters of this story.) I do not own Rurouni Kenshin!**  
**

**Full Summary:** Stuck in an unhappy marriage, Kaoru seeks a counsellor to ease some of the many problems on her mind. Against her better judgement, she starts to fall for her counsellor, who so happens to be her sister-in-law's husband! In a world of betrayal, deceit and lies, the word 'loyal' is non-existent and no one can ever be with the one they truly love...

**If I made any spelling errors (with names and such), please tell me. **

**Author's Note: **The storyline for this piece of fan fiction was thought up for a manga that I wanted to author. I hope it's original enough. ;D

* * *

**Chapter One:**

_I feel so loved but yet so lonely,  
in this world coated with sugar and honey. _

Reaching out to grab her hand cream off her dresser counter, Kaoru glanced at her reflection in the mirror. Oh how she had aged in the past five years. Gone was the young and free Kaoru. She now had eye bags forming underneath her big sapphire eyes. Those eyes had lost their touch, their shine. They were dull, sad and lonely. Her hair had grown long and she quickly lost her ponytail by tying it up into a bun. A classy bun one would have of her status.

She was no longer the little carefree girl of eighteen years. She had just turned twenty-three and was in her fifth year of marriage. There was no trace of innocence in her, no naivety. She was no longer ignorant. She was a mature young lady and the wife of a multi-millionaire. She was intelligent, rich and sophisticated. Ladies admired her position, her confidence. With every stride and every step, Kaoru walked with her head held high.

Rubbing the cream into her hands, Kaoru checked her nail polish. It had dried nicely. After years of practising, she had finally mastered the skill of professional nail painting. Today, she had chosen a dark brown, to go with her tan coloured dress suit. Walking into her closet, she picked out a pair of shoes and a purse to match with her current outfit. Putting her mobile, wallet and a few other necessities into her bag, Kaoru slipped on her shoes and walked out the door.

She had a counselling session to make.

* * *

"_I married out of love, Kenshin. Not out of love for my husband, but for my father. He wanted what he thought was best for me and I followed his wishes. I followed, I obeyed and I married. I dropped out of university. I stopped trying to achieve my dreams. I married a man I did not harbour any feelings for. I loved my father, Kenshin. I loved him so much I would throw my whole life away for him. And that is what I did. That is exactly what I did. _

_…He's so bloody nice to me, I don't know what to do anymore! He asks for my opinion about everything, which does not relate to business. He gives me a large sum of allowance every month. He allows me to do anything, if I ask for his permission first. He stays home from work if I'm ill. He even cooks porridge for me! Can you imagine that, Kenshin? The multi-millionaire Yukishiro Enishi cooking porridge for his wife! I really thought I could grow to love him, but I can't. I tried so hard, but I can't. _

_…What do I do, Kenshin? What do I do? Am I a bad wife? Here I am, pouring out my love life to a complete stranger and yet, I can't be completely honest to my very own husband. Oh Kenshin, please tell me I'm a bad wife. I feel so guilty, so very guilty." _

Kenshin pressed the stop button on the tape recorder. Pushing the re-wind button, he waited for the whirling to stop before he pressed play again.

_'I must be crazy',_ Kenshin thought to himself. He had just gotten into the office and he was already on his fifth re-run of Kaoru's previous session. Kenshin checked the time. 'O_nly ten more minutes till her appointment.'_ Stopping the tape, he removed it without bothering to re-wind it back to the start and placed it in her folder.

Kamiya Kaoru. She had registered for sessions using her maiden name. She had told him herself. She had come to him so abruptly and so desperately, he did not have the heart to push her away despite his full schedule. She talked to him like a friend, a friend she had known for years. Emotion seeped through her every expression and he read her like an open book. She had put up a strong facade for the world to see but deep down inside, she was still a little girl. A little girl who was unexperienced in life. A girl with no direction, no reason. Kenshin promised himself that he would correct that.

He would help her.

He would help her gain a direction.

He would give her a reason to live.

* * *

"Good morning to you too, Mr Himura." Kaoru stood at his office door. She had come in without knocking, again. He didn't mind. He checked the clock on his wall, 10.30am. She had come right on time. 

"Oh. Kamiya Kaoru. Nice to see you again. Please take a seat." Kenshin stood up to greet her before indicating to the big comfy back leather chair opposite his, on the other side of his desk. Kaoru sat down silently. She looked stunning today. Actually, on second thoughts, Kaoru looked stunning everyday. Her features were not typical of a Japanese and that was what made her even more beautiful.

"Would you like a coffee? Tea? I expect our session is going to be rather long this time." He asked, walking towards the coffee machine at the corner of his office.

"A coffee would be nice, Mr Himura. Thank you for asking." Kaoru smiled pleasantly at Kenshin, her head slightly cocked towards the left as her eyes met with his.

"So, _Ms_ Kamiya..." Kenshin had purposely emphasized on the "Ms". They had agreed to go on to a first name basis relationship ever since the previous session and yet she had come in today addressing him by his last name.

"Oh stop it. I was just testing you." Kaoru said irritably, before re-arranging herself into a more comfortable sitting position on the leather chair.

Kenshin broke into a grin. He couldn't help it.

"So Kaoru…would you like to say something before we start?" Kaoru stared in wonder at Kenshin for a brief moment. Had he just read her mind?

"Oh yes," she started, when she snapped out of her moment of thought. "Thank you for being such a great listener the last time. I'm sorry if I kind of went out of control there. I tend to do it when I get a bit carried away. And you're so easy to talk to. Every time I sit here, I can just feel all my emotions come through. It's like I'm a totally different person. There's no one to criticize me every time I do something wrong or say something inappropriate. I'm not living up to anyone's expectations. I feel free. I feel like I can be just...me."

Kenshin smiled. _'Kaoru is starting to figure it out.' _

"Kaoru, would you like to tell me what you do on a daily basis?" Kenshin placed a cup of steaming hot black coffee in front of her before sitting down to sip his own.

"Hmm, I wake up at 9am every morning, eat a simple breakfast, brush my teeth. If I'm going out later in the day, I would have a shower. If I'm staying at home, I would usually stay in my pyjamas the whole day. I'm usually out in the garden. I love the outdoors. I love the fresh air, the fragrance of the flowers. I would sit in the garden for hours just to admire the flowers. Sometimes, I bring my sketchbook out and try to attempt to sketch a couple of plants. I'm horrible at drawing, however."

"And what would you be doing if you have business outside of home?"

"Oh! Sometimes, Enishi asks me to have lunch with him. That's very rare though. I'm usually out shopping, replenishing my already full closet with more clothes, with more shoes, with more accessories. I know I can get someone to come to my home with all the latest fashion accessories but I prefer to do things myself. I want to show them I'm not just spoiled and rich. I want to show them that I can do stuff for myself. I can do the things like buy my own clothes and shoes myself. I don't need someone to help me with everything. I'm just like any other woman. I'm just like any other normal woman, Kenshin."

Kaoru had done it again. She had opened herself up to him again. She had a tendency to do that after she warmed up. With a smile across his face, Kenshin scribbled a couple of things on his notepad. For future reference, he always claimed.

"If I recalled correctly, last session, Kaoru, you said you gave up your dreams to follow your father's will." Kenshin paused before continuing, "If you don't mind me asking, what were your dreams?"

* * *

Her dresser. 

Her baby blue dresser.

It was her pride, her emotions and her life. It contained all her secrets, her emotions. No one dared to touch it, not even her husband. Every drawer on the side contained a different item. For example, the first drawer had nail polish it in. The colours were arranged from lightest to darkest for easy access. Her base and top coats were at the side, in a little pink basket together with a couple of nail filers, a finger nail clipper and a toe nail clipper. The second drawer consisted of purely lipstick and lip-gloss. From the darkest shade of red to the lightest pink, Kaoru had them all. The third drawer consisted of foundation and blush. Towards the back of the drawer was a pile of facial wipes and sponges. The forth drawer had eye-liner, mascara and eye shadow. The fifth drawer was the last drawer and probably the most important one of them all. Within it was a single, black spiral bound notebook.

It had the words Kamiya Kaoru scribbled on the front cover in sliver ink.

* * *

Kaoru kept a diary. She never told anyone about it. Not her father, not her best friend, not her husband. She had never told anyone about it, until now, until today. 

_"I keep a diary, Kenshin. I've always have. I write down all my feelings. I wrote about my feelings, my first crush, my dreams. I wrote about the time I scraped my knee when I fell off my bike, I wrote about the time I won my first kendo competition, I wrote an entry the day my mum died of cancer, I wrote the day my dad told me I was going to get married. It's my time capsule I never sealed. It's there, my emotions, my deepest darkest secrets and yet, and yet they're not locked away. They're in the bottom drawer of my dresser. It's not hidden. It's just sitting there. Anyone can come up, open it and read it. In fact, I'm surprised no one has found it yet." _

Kaoru had no idea why she so readily shared that piece of information with Kenshin when he asked. It just came out. By no means was Kenshin forcing her to say anything and now that Kaoru thought about it, she was the one volunteering the information without him even asking!

Why she wasn't like this with Enishi, she could not seem to understand.

_'What is Kenshin giving to me that Enishi doesn't? What is it that makes me open my mouth around Kenshin?' _

_'What is Kenshin making me feel that Enishi doesn't?'_

Not liking where her thoughts were going, Kaoru opened the last drawer of her dresser and took her diary out.

It was time for a journal update.

* * *

Kaoru's words replayed again and again like a broken record player in Kenshin's mind. _  
_

_"It's not were, Kenshin. I still want to achieve them today but I know I never will. Do you know how frustrated I feel? I promised my father I would never try to peruse this dream when I agreed to marry Enishi. He said it wasn't appropriate. It wasn't appropriate for me to be doing this sort of thing when I was married. It wasn't lady-like. It wasn't what a normal lady of the upper class would be doing. He made me promise to never tell Enishi about this dream. So, I promised. I promised to never try and become a Kendo master. I promised to never try to own my own dojo. The day I walked down that aisle, the moment I said, "I do", I gave it all up."_

Whenever Kenshin was with her, he felt as if he had known her for years. The office walls would slowly melt away and they would seem like two best friends sitting alongside a busy street, sipping coffee outside a cafe. Kaoru was a friend. A friend who came in at certain times just to talk. To talk, to share, to laugh and to cry. He treated her the way he treated his friends. He talked to her the way he talked to his friends.

_"I've never touched a bokken after that, Kenshin. I really gave it up. I long to hold one again in my hand, though. I long to practise those kata's my dad forced me to learn at a young age. I long to duel with someone again, to enter another kendo competition, to just be in a dojo again…I feel like a big part of me has been taken out ever since I lost kendo to my marriage. Why can't I have both, I often ask myself but I know the answer. It's deep down inside my heart and I can't accept it. But I have to."_

Smiling to himself, Kenshin picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. After today's session, he knew exactly what to do to help Kaoru.

He made a mental note to remind Kaoru to bring a gi and hakama to the next time her saw her.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Please do hit that review button after you have finished reading this. I hope all makes sense to you! The start is a bit slow, but I do have more drama/action coming up. Please bear with me. I'm not very good at expressing myself in words, I'm more of a visual/arty person so I apologise in advance if some bits are a bit fuzzy. The story plays over and over again in my mind like a film but I can't seem to get it down into words! Ahhh, hopefully more practise would do some good. 

Anyway, if you've gotten down to here. Thank you very much! I hope you'll come back for the next installment, whenever that may be. Some time in the near future, I hope.

Oh! I'm looking for a **beta reader**. Please contact me if you're interested! Once again, Thank you for reading! (:

Edit: I changed a couple of bits. There's probably more out there which I haven't spotted. I can't seem to spot my own mistakes anyway!


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